i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
