ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
