Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize