bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
