You're so nebulous sometimes
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
