she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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