census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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