you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
