he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So many bounce houses so little time
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
