Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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