I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
