they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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