Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
