You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
