yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
