there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
