Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I understand Curling. That high.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
