i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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