told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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