he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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