He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
