Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
