A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
