At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't deserve a penis
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
