I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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