YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
