people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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