I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
