Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
