he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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