Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
