I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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