im gay
i know
yea but for you.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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