Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
