My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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