we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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