Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Holy sore nipples Batman
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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