She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
