But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
