I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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