I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
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