U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
