apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Blow job season was short but glorious.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
