I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
