You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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