Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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