I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
