Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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