Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
