And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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