She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
