Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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