Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
