David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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