And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
