So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
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There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
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Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
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