His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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