Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
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I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
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Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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