Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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