You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
