Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
