It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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